Tuesday, March 23, 2010
do vs. be
I have an issue. I can't seem to do anything in a balanced, healthy manner. Anytime a new idea or interest pops in my head, I get wayyyy to into it. I drop everything else and totally immerse my self in it. I neglect things that I really love to do, because at the moment, nothing else seems important to me besides this one new grand idea. I feel like I'm on a roller coaster of interests. Why can't I just tell myself that it is okay to like a lot of different things? When I look around at everyone, it seems like most people have their thing. You know, like they really like soccer, or they are the musician, or they are the movie buff, or they're super academically focused. Sometimes I wish I had just the one thing I liked to do so that I could be really committed to it, and it be my thing. But there are so many different things that I love! And whatever is on the top of my list that one random day seems to take my whole attention. Like, I have no brain space to think about anything else... One day I'm super into cross country and want to go run a marathon. Some days I miss the high school drama club days and really want to get back into that. Other days I get really pumped up about reading old books in foreign languages (I know...). And every once in a while I want to pull out the violin and want to pursue that wholeheartedly again. I guess it really is okay to have a variety of interests, but sometimes I feel like I'm in an identity crisis. Who am I??? I guess that's why God tells us to define ourselves in Him and not in what we do. That way we are free to do a lot of things while still holding to the fact that we are not of the world but are His children. I wish I could keep that perspective in mind more.
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I totally feel ya. I have way too many competing interests and not enough time to devote to them.
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